This is not the typical chronological blog. Each blog entry is the beginning of a discussion of a problem that parents of adopted children may face. For these issues, I do not have all the answers but I do have questions. I invite you to comment on the blog under the specific topics and hopefully together we can help each other work out the problems we face. Please feel free to vent about your hard times and/or share advice on what may work for others. If you would like to suggest new topics please email me at hinkson@pcu.net. Check back often to see if any new comments can be of help. Also all the comments have to be OK'd before they post and so don't panic if they don't immediately show on the site. They will be posted soon.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Food hoarding/sneaking
I know that this is an issue for some families. How long does it last and what can we do to assure the children that they will have what they need when they need it?
I think it depends so much on the trauma the child has experienced in the past. Alex never hoarded but man-o-man he could put it away!! He never seemed full and was set on making sure everything crumb was gone at every meal. He was defiantly over eating-as evidenced by his tremendous gas! (Ukraine farts are what his siblings called it!) I finally had to talk to him about how it's nice to have leftovers. We can eat them later AND I had to point out that he is not the only one in the family-as he would take huge helpings and not leave enough for everyone else. I still have to remind him of that ever once in awhile. Later-when his language got better-he shared that he had been deprived of food by his Ukraine mom before the orphanage. He was also forced to shoplift for food. We never punish with food-like going to bed without dinner-we never have but I was really monitoring his snacking as he was eating non stop. It seemed like I was always saying "No" about his need for food. Once I discovered his sad past with regards to food we made an "Alex can ALWAYS have a piece of bread whenever he wants" rule. He rarely uses that rule anymore but for awhile he needed to know we wouldn't let him go hungry. That he could eat whenever he wanted AND it helped us not go through an entire bunch of banana's or bag of apples in one day! I am certainly not an authority on this subject because besides over eating at first and then snacking all day-he never hoarded. I guess he did sneak some but not any worse than the rest of his siblings. I do think our bread rule helped him relieve his initial anxiety. He can still put it away for a little guy and he's very conscious of how much everyone else gets and I've had to remind him that bigger guys like his dad and sixteen year old brother that weigh double what he does need more food! And that when he gets big like them-he'll need more food too! It has gotten better and luckily he's not a picky eater. Maybe you could do a heading about picking eating? I hear it's very common with some of our families.
When we hosted, we left a fruit bowl on the hutch and she could get fruit (which she preferred over ice cream!) any time she wanted. We started this after about 6 days in, she got a bread roll out of her backpack that was rock hard and started gnawing on it. They had served it on the airplane and she hid it the whole time. She was satisfied with the fruit bowl
Children may gorge themselves because they’ve never had the opportunity to. Some will even make themselves sick by overeating. They may fixate on certain foods. It may be best to avoid serving meals family-style at first. But, don’t worry too much about a child who eats huge quantities of bananas, hot dogs, or other new favorites. With time, they will usually settle down to normal portions.
Hoarding food or other items may occur because children don’t believe that the food will continue to be plentiful, or because they have had very few private possessions. As insecurities decrease over time, so should these behaviors.
I think it depends so much on the trauma the child has experienced in the past.
ReplyDeleteAlex never hoarded but man-o-man he could put it away!! He never seemed full and was set on making sure everything crumb was gone at every meal. He was defiantly over eating-as evidenced by his tremendous gas! (Ukraine farts are what his siblings called it!)
I finally had to talk to him about how it's nice to have leftovers. We can eat them later AND I had to point out that he is not the only one in the family-as he would take huge helpings and not leave enough for everyone else. I still have to remind him of that ever once in awhile.
Later-when his language got better-he shared that he had been deprived of food by his Ukraine mom before the orphanage. He was also forced to shoplift for food. We never punish with food-like going to bed without dinner-we never have but I was really monitoring his snacking as he was eating non stop. It seemed like I was always saying "No" about his need for food. Once I discovered his sad past with regards to food we made an "Alex can ALWAYS have a piece of bread whenever he wants" rule. He rarely uses that rule anymore but for awhile he needed to know we wouldn't let him go hungry. That he could eat whenever he wanted AND it helped us not go through an entire bunch of banana's or bag of apples in one day!
I am certainly not an authority on this subject because besides over eating at first and then snacking all day-he never hoarded. I guess he did sneak some but not any worse than the rest of his siblings. I do think our bread rule helped him relieve his initial anxiety.
He can still put it away for a little guy and he's very conscious of how much everyone else gets and I've had to remind him that bigger guys like his dad and sixteen year old brother that weigh double what he does need more food! And that when he gets big like them-he'll need more food too!
It has gotten better and luckily he's not a picky eater. Maybe you could do a heading about picking eating? I hear it's very common with some of our families.
When we hosted, we left a fruit bowl on the hutch and she could get fruit (which she preferred over ice cream!) any time she wanted. We started this after about 6 days in, she got a bread roll out of her backpack that was rock hard and started gnawing on it. They had served it on the airplane and she hid it the whole time.
ReplyDeleteShe was satisfied with the fruit bowl
Children may gorge themselves because they’ve never had the opportunity to. Some will even make themselves sick by overeating. They may fixate on certain foods. It may be best to avoid serving meals family-style at first. But, don’t worry too much about a child who eats huge quantities of bananas, hot dogs, or other new favorites. With time, they will usually settle down to normal portions.
ReplyDeleteHoarding food or other items may occur because children don’t believe that the food will continue to be plentiful, or because they have had very few private possessions. As insecurities decrease over time, so should these behaviors.