Ingratitude

Where did we get the illusion that all orphans were as grateful and as talented at expressing appreciation as little orphan Annie? Some may be, but many do not seem to possess these traits. Any feelings on this topic?

Picky Eating

Adopted children are often orphaned and we picture orphaned children as cold, hungry and longing for love. Why then can they be so picky when it comes to eating some foods. One of my sons still bends over to stick his nose almost in everything I cook e to smell it and see if he dares to eat it. A friend of mine says that her kids eat ridiculous combinations of food and then turn up their noses at yummy things like cinnamon rolls. It is pretty funny if you think about it but it can cause problems. Any encouragement is extremely welcome :)

Helping foreign adopted children develop patriotism for their new home country.

Usually the place where a child is being adopted to is better and so a love for the new home develops. Some adopted children are more patriotic than others who have taken their country for granted. But for those who struggle to become a citizen of a new land, what can we do to help?

Retaining pride in country of origin.

How do we keep the pride that a child has in his native country. This is especially hard when they seem to love their new life and want to be American. This is also hard when the parents may not particularly be a big fan of the country of origin. I know there are answers out there.... somewhere.

Keeping the native language

OK, if you adopt someone from a foreign country and hear them jabbering 90 miles an hour with their friends in their native tongue, it is hard to imagine that they could EVER lose their original language and completely replace it with yours, but it really happens. Some parents are happy to see the native tongue gone and some feel bad that they haven't done whatever it takes to keep their children bi-lingual. What can be done to keep the language? Any advice?

Bonding issues

How can we tell when the children are bonding to us? How long does it take? How do things change when a child feels bonded?

Food hoarding/sneaking

I know that this is an issue for some families. How long does it last and what can we do to assure the children that they will have what they need when they need it?

Fomer abuse and night terrors

How can we overcome the former abuse that some children have experienced? How can we help them to develop trust in their new family when family life may have been a terror in the past?

Going overboard with accumulating things.

How does a child go from being an orphan who owns almost nothing to a child who wants and expects everything? Does this eventually level off or are we on a fast track to bankruptcy?

Negative influences

It seems like a natural desire to want the adopted children to make new friends and blend into society. How can we avoid friends that will be a negative influence on our vulnerable children?

Saying "No" ... immediate opposition

Why do so many adopted children seem naturally oppose the new authority figures. What can a parent do help the child want to cooperate?

Sibling rivalry

For families with other children who adopt it can be a difficult thing to mesh the chidren and make them feel like they are on the same team. Has anyone experienced problems in this area? Has anyone experienced a successful tactic to calm down the rivalry and increase the unity?

Annoying and irritating behavior

What do you do when your new child seems to annoy you or other family members? Do they outgrow this behavior? Help!!

Work avoidance--laziness

What do you do when a child refuses to help and complains when it is time to pitch in at home? Why does this happen? What is a parent to do?

Matching and clothing selection

Every child needs to be taught how to match their clothing. When children come from foreign countries where this is not important, it is hard to impress upon them the importance of dressing appropriately. Please comment on how to teach this.

Hygiene issues

Many adopted children have not been taught what you may consider "proper hygiene." Does anyone have any tricks for instilling good habits of personal hygiene?

Lying and dishonest behavior

What have you experienced and what can we do about adopted children who do not value honesty. How can honest behavior be taught and reinforced and dishonest behavior be eliminated?

Tattling

Has anyone had experience with children who want to get everyone else in trouble, including the parents? How can we calm down the eruption of tattling that often comes into an adoptive family.